The Private Journal of Mia Cadwell
by Rainy1864
Summary: I never wanted this to happen,nor did I ever think it could exist, but I guess I was fated." The journal of a girl who's life gets turned upside down when the Cirque comes to town. Summary sucks but it's a must read! Reviews much appreciated. :D
1. Chapter 1

9/10/09

Dear Journal,

God how corny does that sound? You journal were given to me for my 18th birthday Oh my God now I talk to you like you're an actual person! *sigh* Look I'll be honest with you journal. I never wanted you but thanks to the stupidity of my little sister who thought that by having you I could finally release what she likes to call "my feelings", I got stuck with you as a present. I told Charlotte a.k.a. Charlie that I wanted her to get me a gift card to the bookstore near our house but like little sisters always do, she blows me off. Way to go little sis. My mom and step dad however thought it was a fabulous idea, because God forbid Charlie do anything wrong. Whatever. Well I suppose if I'm going to write in you, I should probably tell you about myself. My name's Amelia (a.k.a. Mia) Cadwell. I just 18 today, and I go to school at Briar Brook High School in a little god forsaken town in the middle of nowhere. I have a best friend named Leah Jennings who totally rocks harder than anyone else that I know (She has a band!) and my love interest is the totally steamy Jackson Weber! (Who Leah claims doesn't even know that I exist even though I totally caught him checking me out in Physics yesterday!!)

You know, now that I keep writing a little bit more, I find that I may not hate you as much as I claim to. Who knows, you and I may have some great adventures together…NOT! Nothing ever exciting happens to me or this little town.

Yours Truthfully,

MIA

P.S. Leah told me that she got us tickets to something awesome this weekend to celebrate my b-day! I wonder what it is. Maybe one of her funky indie bands that she loves so much.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Okay Obviousely I don't own any of the Cirque du Freak characters (Would I be writing fanfiction if I did?) ;D_**

**_The only things I do own are my own characters that I created._**

September, '09

Dear Journal,

Finally found out what Leah got tickets for! An honest to god freak show! I totally thought they died out but apparently this one's alive and kicking!! I suppose I should tell you he events that occurred today (Not like you care):

I got up this morning at my usual time (which is too early) and dressed in my favorite plaid button up and distressed jeans with my favorite black converse high tops that my mom hates(she calls them my 'dude shoes'. "Amelia! Get down here now and eat!" Mike called up the stairs. Mike, my step dad is a chronic liar and hardcore alchoholic. I have no idea why my mom stays with him because all he ever does is give her grief. She was so torn up when my dad died eight years ago that she settled for the first asshole she met, and cue Mike. "Hold your effin horses Mike I'm comin!" I yelled back.

"You better watch that mouth little girl! You're under my house and my rules, you don't like it you can take a hike!"

"Actually it's my mom's house and her rules and if _you_ don't like it then _you_ can take a hike," I grumbled as a trudged heavily downstairs. I grabbed my new black leather back pack my grandma Daisy gave me for my birthday and stuffed a granola bar into the side pocket. It was then that I saw a flash of blonde hair streak down the stairs and knock into me. "Mia!" Charlie cried.

"Charlie!" I mimicked.

"Have you written in your diary yet?" she asked. I was at the point this morning that I wanted to say some snide remark but I bit my tongue. "No I haven't Charlie, now hurry up we gotta go soon."

"Amelia I need you to come home right after school and clean house before my bosses come for dinner tonight," Mike said as he flipped through the channels on the kitchen t.v. I saw him take a sip from his coffee cup, knowing that it was spiked with some type of liquor. Just like every other morning. "I can't," I said. "I've got tryouts for the play today." He looked at me like I was stupid. "I don't care Amelia," he said. "I need you here and I mean it. This is more important than a stupid play. I could get a promotion out of this dinner and your play won't put food on the table." I clenched my fists, trying so hard not to say something that I may regret later.

"Where's Mom?" I asked. He went back to flipping channels.

"Work," he said. "Where the hell else would she be?" I'd had enough.

"Come on Charlie," I said as I picked up my bag and car keys. "I have to get you all the way to the other side of town in twenty minutes."

I heard Mike chuckle and say "Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers." Asshole.

So anyway Journal, fast forward to school where Leah surprised me with the tickets.

"Where the hell did you get these?" I asked as I examined the small stiff pieces of paper. Cirque du Freak was written on it in a funky font. lol. Funky font. I love that, I should definitely suggest that to Leah for her band's name, right now they go by UHOP. (Lame I know!)

There was thi flier on the floor in Pretty Rickey's a week ago after rehersals and I decided to check it out. I know you like this crap so I thought I'd surprise you." She smiled and tweaked her brow piercing. Leah was an amazing friend. She acted like the B.A. rocker chick out and about but she was really a true and loyal friend that I've known since kindergarten. (I mean she may have died her platinum blonde hair black and blue and gotten a few unecessary piercings but she was still the same person!)

"These say that the show is tonight at midnight in some warehouse in the industrail district," I said. "I don't know Lee, it sounds a little fishy. Besides how the hell are we gonna pull this off?"

"What do you mean?" she asked cocking her head to the side in a sweet and innocent gesture which was total B.S.

"I mean, how the hell am I gonna convince my mom to let me go to an illegal freak show in an abandoned warehouse at midnight?"

Leah rolled her eyes and picked up her black and red plaid bag as the bell rang. "God Mia you're such an effing crack monkey!" She groaned.

(Crack monkey is her diss of the week. It's alot better than last weeks which was dipbitch) "You're just gonna hav to sneak out! Duh!"

"Whoa! Hold the phone! If Mom or Mike catches me sneaking out, my ass is grass." Leah rolled her eyes as she grabbed her English book out of her locker. "God Mia, you'll only be in trouble if you get caught," she said. "Which you won't!" She added as as she caught my expression. "So are we on tonight or what?"

I looked down at my ticket that I still had clutched in my hand. I hesitated a moment before I answered, knowing that this may be a once in a lifetime thing. "Okay," I said. "I'll do it."

So dear Journal, this is the beginning of my rebellious stage (I know I'm a late bloomer) It must be because I have never snuck out of my house before. Okay there was this one time back in 8th grade but that doesn't count because Leah kindof pushed me out the window and I couldn't get back in afterwards so I just stayed out. In English now so I will continue our little chat later!

Yours,

MIA


	3. Chapter 3

_**Kay here is the next installment. I would just like to say that one I am **__**not**____**seriously**__** begging for reviews.I try to be funny but it sometimes bites me in the ass sometimes. My lovely readers just need to learn not to take me too seriously.( Trust me you'll know when I'm serious! Lol) I just want to hear from others on whether I should continue or not and to see if it so far is sounding stupid. Two I did not feel that I gave an ultimatum, I have just been in a crappy mood lately and that may have been conveyed in my author's note. Besides if you didn't like it then don't read it if you do then ignore me, I'm used to that. Enjoy peeps!**_

Hey Journal!

You would not believe what I had to do to get out of my house. I won't bore you with the details but let's just say that it involved a candelabra and a plastic spork. Trust me you don't want to hear how those to go together! Anyway, for that little incident, I got sent to my room and now an assortment of pillows and other odds and ends are underneath my blankets making it appear that I am asleep. I honest to god did not believe that it would work. You would think that since it happened all the time in movies it wouldn't have been a smart idea to do but it surprisingly looked realistic! Now Leah and I are off to the freak show! And I am totally flipping out! I have never done something like this before and it feels exciting!

I remember when Mom got home earlier that day from work at the hospital. She's a nurse at St. Ambrosia's. I don't get to see her as often as I like but when I do it reminds me of why I don't smother Mike in his sleep. (figuratively speaking of course).

"Mia sweetheart?" she called from downstairs. "Could you come down for a moment?"

I poked my head around the corner of the stairs. "Yesum?" I cringed at her haphazard appearance. Her dark brown hair that was kissed with red like mine had somehow escaped from her hair clip and now bits of hair popped up in random places. Her emerald eyes looked agonizingly tired and they had bags underneath them. Just another day in the ER.

"Sweetheart could you come down and help set the table for Mike's dinner party? The tortellini is almost done and I still have to put in the garlic bread."( Oh yeah for your FYI, my mom totally owns Emeril!)

"Sure Mom," I said as I came down the rest of the stairs. Mike better be grateful that your doing this for him."

"Amelia Rosalie!" She scolded. "After all that Mike has done for us, you should be a little more nicer to him."

"Yeah right," I mumbled.

"Mia I know he isn't your father," she said. "But he has really helped me through rough times when I could barely stand it anymore. Could you please try to cut him a little slack? Please?" I knew she had won and she knew she had won. God I hate when she takes me on her infamous guilt trips!

I won't bore you with the unnecessary details journal but here's the rundown:

Two 5o-something year old overweight guys with Rogaine needs arrive and begin to call me 'Kiddo'.

Supper is officially ready and we begin to sit down to eat with Mike acting like he is father/husband of the year. (The booze has broken out by this time.)

When the bosses ask why I think Mike should get the promotion (like my opinion would really matter) I start to say 'So he can get enough money and move out' but he kicks me, hard I might add, and gives me the death glare and his funky little lip thing he does when he gets angry (I think it's funny)

Charlie and I sit quietly at the table while the bosses, Mom and Mike talk over Tiramisu. Get bored and that is when the spork-candle incident occurs. This causes me to get yelled at and sent to my room.

So that's pretty much the gist of what happened. At least it gave me an excuse to go to my room.

"Are we there yet?" I ask Leah. I noticed we pulled into a shipping yard and there were an assortment of cars scattered across the yard.

"Yep. This is the address on the ticket," she said. Let's get goin Hooba!" (BTW, don't ask why she calls me Hooba journal, cuz frankly I don't know why, she's just always called me that.)

We go up to the steel door of the closest building and I knock on it timidly. The door remained closed and neither of us heard a sound coming from inside. "Maybe we have the wrong building," I said.

Leah gave me a look that made me shut up. "This is the right one," she said. "Look, it says so right here." She held up her own ticket and showed me that it was indeed the right address.

"Well maybe-" I started to say, but any thought that I had was lost as soon as the door flew open and in the dark doorway stood an outrageously tall man. "You are here for the show yes?" He asked in a deep voice that sent shivers down my spine. "Yep!" Leah said brightly. "Are you who we give our tickets to?" she asked.

"I am," he said as he held out his large hand palm up. We both handed him our tickets and he inspected them closely. When at last seemed satisfied, he ushered us in with a smile. "Come in ladies! The show is about to start."


	4. Chapter 4

Leah and I walked into the building and into a dimly lit hallway that was lit only by the occassional bare lightbulb that hung from the grimy ceiling. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea Leah," I whispered as we continued down the hallway. I looked back towards the now closed door and saw that the creepy giant was still there. "Don't be such a wuss!" She exclaimed as she punched me in the arm. "This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity and you wanna back out!"

"It's nothing personal," I said as I rubbed the spot where she hit me. "It's just that, well what if the cops find out about this and they bust it. Then our parents will have to pick us up from the station because we were at an illegal freak show."

Leah scoffed. "So what if they have to come pick us up at the cop shop? It's better to have that done then always wonder 'what if'. Am I right or am I right?" I shrugged. I knew she had a point. I had always been a good little girl who never got in trouble. This was my shot to break out of my shell. "Yeah who cares," I said with a smile.

Leah laughed. "There is hope for you yet Mia!"

We now stood in a large room filled with benches and mismatched chairs facing a makeshift stage that stood about three and a half feet off the ground. Curtains blocked the audience's view of what was behind the stage. "Dude! I see two in the front!" Leah exclaimed as she pulled me to the seats.

"You are way more excited than I would expect you to be," I laughed as she pulled me over to two plastic folding chairs.

"Hey, I wanna see me some freaks! You have no idea how much these tickets cost so I'm hopin it's gonna be worth it." I smiled. Leah had no idea how funny she was sometimes. We talked for a few more minutes and then suddenly the lights flashed on and off. "Hells yeah!" Leah crowed.

"What was that all about?" I asked still glancing around. "Did they blow a fuse or something?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "No Hooba, that means the shows gonna start. Haven't you ever been to a play or anything like that?"

"In third grade," I said.

"Dude, you're lucky I love you like a sister or I would have cheerfully beaten you to death years ago." I flicked her industrial piercing and she grimaced.

"I was just kidding!" She said as she massaged her ear.

The lights finally dimmed at last and then the creepy giant came to stand in the center of the stage under neath a single bright spotlight. "Good Evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Cirque du Freak!" There was some polite applause and even a few 'woos'. "I must warn you before we begin the show that there are some things that you will see that are not meant to be seen by the faint of heart, so if you are easily frightened, I must implore you to leave at this time." He waited a few minutes before he continued. A small group of girls that looked no older than fourteen left the room.

"Pussys," I heard Leah murmer. Finally the man tipped his hat and said. "Enjoy the show everyone!"


	5. Chapter 5

**_I don't own any of the CIrque du Freak Characters, they all belong to Mr. Darren Shan. Because let's be real. If I owned the rights to Cirque Du freak, I would not be wasting my time on here making fanfiction of Cirque du Freak, but I would actually be publishing more of the Cirque du Freak books. So yeah there's my story and I'm stickin to it...enjoy the story. _**

**_Oh btw, there's some language in this chapter so just a warning for those peeps that are easily offended by swearing. Not alot, but just thought I would warn you anyway. So yeah once again...enjoy the story. _**

How to explain what I saw journal? the most amazing unbelievable things were shown before me on that rickety stage. A man that could cut his limbs off and have them regrow right in front of our eyes, a real honest to god wolf man, and a bearded lady that could suck her beard back in her face when she wanted to. I looked over at Leah a few times and noticed that she rarely blinked during the whole show. Finally a snake boy came out on stage and did some tricks with his pet snake. "He's kinda cute in an exotic reptilian way," Leah whispered in my ear. I looked at her like she just grew an eyeball in the middle of her forehead. "what?" she said. "If you look past the scales, he's not that bad!" she said. Finally a thirty-something year old man (who might I add was actually kinda hot) came on stage carrying a small cloth covered box. He wore an old fashioned top hat and wore red from head to foot. He set the box on a stand that had been placed on the stage. He smiled at the audience and took off his hat where underneath it was a bright red head of hair cropped short.

"Good evening everyone!" he said. "I hope that you are enjoying the show and this evening has not been too scary."

"Yeah right!" Leah whispered. "This has been the most awesome night ever!" The man smirked slightly at us as if he had heard Leah.

The man moved over to the box that he had brought out on stage and made as if he were going to uncover it. "May I introduce to you ladies and gentlemen, Madam Octa!" He then threw the cloth from the box and what was under the cloth disapointed me. I was expecting something scary or amazing but all it was was an empty cage.

"Wtf?!" Leah exclaimed. "what the hell is this? and invisible freakin bunny? what a rip off!"

The red headed guy looked alarmed. "Dear God! No one move! A very venomous spider is on the lose!"

Despite his warning, many people began to panic and a few women screamed. To my great amusement, Leah jumped into her chair and sqauted there, looking around wildly for anything that moved. I started to laugh. Leah glared at me. "Not funny!" she growled. "You know I hate spiders!"

Just then I heard a young boy scream and I looked behind me just in time to see a large spider crawl on top of a boy of about twelve years. "Do not move or she may bite you! God forbid she do that." The man started to step down from the stage just as the boy began to cry and just as the spider moved over his face. I still don't know why I did it journal, but seeing the absolute fear on that little boys face, I couldn't stand there and wait for that guy to get over to where we were so I very slowly grabbed the spider by the middle when she turned around and pulled it off the little boy who immediately ran out of the room. I felt a rough hand on my shoulder and turned to see the spider guy.

"Do you not understand the meaning of venomous spider?" he asked angrily.

"Well if you wouldn't have taken your sweet time getting your ass over here I wouldn't have to risk my life saving that little boy!" I scolded. Whoa. Where the hell did that come from?

He got about six inches from my face and whispered angrily. "If you must know miss, this was all part of the show, and thanks to you, you have just ruined it."

I wanted to throw a snappy comeback right back at him but what could I have said? Oh my bad, sorry I didn't let you save the day? He turned back to the audience and flashed a smile. "Not to worry everyone. Madam Octa was milked quite recently and she would have done no damage to anyone!"

The audience breathed a sigh of relief and while some left, others stayed and watched the remainder of the show. "What the hell did you think you were doing when you started manhandling that spider?!" Leah growled. I shook my head and kept my eyes on the stage. "Dude, I'm all for you breaking free of your sheltered existance but seriously man! One step at a time!"

The red headed jerkoff then proceeded to do some actually pretty cool tricks with the spider and when it was all over, the lights came on and people started leaving. "Dude!" Leah cried excitedly. "Midgets!" I looked over to where she was pointing and sure enough there were little people dressed in cloaks and hoods that hid their faces holding trays of souvenirs. "Oh yeah, I'm gonna get me some of those," she said as she loped over to the nearest one. I followed close behind her.

Leah ended up buying a fake snake that moved when you touched it, and a replica doll of the guy who could grow his limbs back. In fact you could actually cut off the dolls body parts and they would grow back, just like the actual guy! And despite my protests, Leah bought me canfy spiders to remind me of this night, because after all it's not every day that I 'save someone from a killer spider'.

I got home at about four. I managed to climb stealthily back through my window without making the slightest of sounds. I looked over at my bed and saw that the blankets were placed just as I left them. Maybe I was actually going to get away with this! That's when I heard the angry slurred whispers of Mike coming from the corner.

"Where the hell you been?" he asked. I spun around to see him slumped over in my reading chair. A bottle of Jack Daniel's clutched in his hand.

"I, um, well I-" what the hell was I going to say?

"I'll tell you where ya little slut! out screwin some guy that's where!" He stood up and stumbled towards me.

"No I wasn't!" I protested. "And if you don't get the hell out of my room, I'm going to get Mom!"

"Go ahead! She aint here, she had to take her knocked up sister to the hospital cuz shes in labor. So go ahead yell for her, aint gonna do ya no good."

"Get the hell out of my room you drunk bastard before I have you thrown out of here!" The look on his face then was pure rage as he threw the first punch and I went sprawling on the floor. I immediately felt my eye start swelling up and thats the same time I felt the sharp pain as he kicked me with all his might in the ribs.

"Not so mouthy now are you! you little bitch!" That's when he decided that I still hadn't had enough and he decided to deal a blow to my head. That's when my world went black.


	6. Chapter 6

I slowly made my way back downstairs. My leg was killing me as well as the rest of me. I would be bruised up for months. I finally made it to the door again and as I put my hand on the doorknob, I heard something that I had no desire to hear. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Mike shouted from his chair. As he stood up, an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's fell out of his lap. I wasted no time in leaving and threw the door open and ran for dear life.

I couldn't scream. I couldn't find my voice to. My first instinct was to run to a house and bang on the door to let me in, but I knew that by the time anyone would come it would be too late. I heard Mike stumbling around behind me. For being extremely drunk, he could still catch up with me. My left leg seemed to take on a mind of its own and refused to move. I began to hobble and felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. I knew that Mike could very well kill me if he wanted to. He had never been this terrible before when he drank but he had hit Charlie and I a few times when Mom wasn't home. We tried to tell her but of course she wouldn't believe it. "Mike has a drinking problem sweetheart, but he wouldn't do anything that bad," she said. "Plus I know that you don't like him so nice try," she said with a smile. How naiive my mom could be sometimes.

I tripped on something. I have no idea what, but before I could feel the cement make contact with my battered body, someone caught me. I looked up and noticed it was the red headed jerk from the freak show. "Wha-?" I whimpered. I tried to say something along the lines of 'what the hell are you doing here asshat?" when he breathed deeply right in my face and I immediately let the darkness take over again. this time it wasn't in pain.

I awoke what seemed minutes later to the sounds of whispering. I tried to sit up but found out instantly that that was not a good idea. I was strapped down to a little cot and as I investigated further, I noticed that I was in a spacious tent. "Where am I ?" I asked weakly. The whispering immediately ceased and I felt a cool hand on my arm.

"You are safe," the voice said. It sounded like the dickhead from the freak show. "I'm strapped to an effin cot," I said. "I sure the hell don't feel safe." He chuckled and dabbed a warm washcloth on my head. "How bad is it?" I asked. It came out as barely a whisper but he somehow managed to hear me. "You have severe internal bleeding," he grumbled. "Not to mention two cracked ribs, an assortment of bruises, a gash on your head, and a very badly bruised femur."

"Mike?" I asked. "Where is he?"

I heard him let out a freaky growl. "That animal is fine," he said. "I would have liked to kill him right then and there; however I let him live with a broken arm and a good swift kick to the head. I brought you back to the Cirque to tend to your injuries."

"Why?" I asked. "Why were you in the neighborhood and why did you bring me back here? why not to the hospital?"

He paused briefly and said rather reluctantly "I felt sorry for you."

"Sorry for me? why?" I asked. "You don't even know me and I certainly don't know you either."

He scowled. "I am quite aware of that but not only did I feel sorry that you were beaten within an inch of your life but I am afraid that you are also dying." It felt as if he had punched me in the stomach. "I'm what?"

"You heard me," he said. "I mentioned that you have sever internal bleeding. You may have had a better chance of pulling through this but you were stupid enough to try and run when you should have stayed put and tried to move as little as possible."

I scowled. "Forgive me for trying to survive," I said turning my head away from him.

"That was a very stupid thing you did," he continued. "Trying to outrun a drunk man whom could have killed you right then and there."

"Why don't you save the lecture and let me die in piece," I asked. I felt very tired and I figured that to be kind of a bad sign. I heard him sigh. "Could you give us a moment please?" I heard him ask. I had forgotten there had been another person in the room. I heard footsteps retreating from th tent and then I heard the red head get up. "Larten Crepsley." I heard him say softly. I turned to face him. "What?"

"You said earlier that you did not know me," he said. "Larten Crepsley is my name."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Crepsley," I said politely. I coul feel my eyelids wanting to close. "I can save you," he said. "I can make sure that you will not die; not like this anyway." he turned my face so that I looked directly into his eyes. "But you must agree to stay and travel with the Cirque."

"How the hell do you intend on saving me?" I asked.

"By turning you into a vampire of course."


End file.
